Check out this article where freelance writer, Hannah Ewens, explores the most googled fashion terms of 2014: Cutester, Health Goth and Normcore.  Though you can find people who look health goth, normcore and cutester in any major city, there doesn’t seem to be any kind of coherent lifestyle behind the clothes.

Hannah explores questions like, “Where do the normcores get drunk?”  “How does a health goth pay the rent?”  “Where do cutesters go to find sex?”  Check out there article where Hannah tries out these clothing trends in the flesh in an attempt to find out if there was any kind of lifestyle beyond the clothes.

For those of you too lazy to read the full article, here are Hannah’s results in a nutshell:  As Suspected: the Cutester is straight-up gross, Health Goth is just the Spice Girls in an oil slick and Normcore is for vanilla humanities students who want to look like extras in a Woody Allen movie.

“Cutester is so disgusting on so many levels. It’s the go-to aesthetic for a self-loathing generation; VEVO filtered through Jeremy Scott and flooding into Primark quicker than you can say ‘Squidward onesie.’

Are those seriously bunches she’s got in her hair? Honestly, the last time it was acceptable for any of us to wear a Mickey Mouse T-shirt was when we were trying to fuck the Cobrasnake for a new profile picture six years ago. Enough.”

“Sorry, trend reporters, but though you think health goth was conceived this year, it’s clearly been alive and well since So Solid Crew’s Kaish wore white contact lenses on Top of the Pops. While it was cemented as a mainstream trend by Alexander Wang for H&M’s asymmetric laser-cut travesty of a collection over summer, people with no personality have been wearing ribbed socks and Nike crop-tops to complement their dip-dyes for absolutely ages.

Though this sportswear subculture might not be as sinister as the rich guys you meet on Tinder who wear Air Max with no socks, it still strikes me as a clusterfuck of symbols reserved largely for the sort of people so desperately in need of an identity they’ve got a tattoo of their own name. Not pictured: the obligatory septum piercing.”

“The problem with normcore is it normally goes one of two ways: either you’re so ‘core in your stonewashed flares and ancient Stan Smiths that Refinery29 are sniffing around for an OOTD [Outfit of the Day], or you just shopped yourself silly on the ASOS basics vertical and you’re less blasé, more just blah.

Personally, I think normcore should be reserved for people with their natural hair color and an endearing number of pimples (exactly one) but you know what? Those jeans are truly hideous, so kudos for the effort.”

Sadly, none of these new subcultures have any hope of becoming real subcultures; they are all too reliant on the internet and just don’t translate IRL. Personally, I hold out hope for 2015, but there are those who argue that subcultures as we knew them died the day broadband started beaming every nascent youth movement into connected households the world over.  So for now until the Fall of Technology, I guess we’ll have to make do with whatever op-ed writers and trend forecasters come up with. To 2015: the year of the Islamopunk and the Turbo Mod.